What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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