He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
