she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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