It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
