At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
