I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
