ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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