I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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