they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize