We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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