I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize