i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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