What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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