there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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