yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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