why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
