Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
