yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
