"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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