the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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