The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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