All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
