Moan for me like Helen Keller
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize