last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
