I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
