I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
that is very illegal...i love you.
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