i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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