i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
