We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
we should paint friendship bongs
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