NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
