Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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