is this the sara with the beer cane?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
