PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
