I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
