spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
