Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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