Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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