I'm jealous of your bromance
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
