I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
