You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
