i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
