I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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