My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
