smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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