When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
