I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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