She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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