That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
