Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
