O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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