Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
