I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
