Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
