People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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