You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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