I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So squirting runs in the family.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize