she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just had sex bonerless
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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