The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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