STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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