have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
