i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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