Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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