I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
