chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
