super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
