Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
