woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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